Me, today

Even before the start of the new semester, I wanted to change my attitude. I must be naive and dumb thinking that I have all the skills required to venture into the business world. No more classrooms but I have to face the outside world now. Frankly, I've been wasting most of my time during the years in MMU. What is the responsibility of a student? Get good grades? Active in club activities? Be a leader? Get to know friends and people? I have done poorly in all of them. That's why I told myself that I need to change into a 'to be the best' attitude. I have almost never done my best in everything. I realize that why I have such a pathetic life. Actually, I realize my life sucks since secondary school and yet I keep thinking about it but never took any actions. My friends think I'm weird, a nice guy but weird. My parents still have to look after me even at this age, and I've not had any achievements for the past 1o years. I'm not smart, shy and cool, pretend to become an idiot to get attention and I'm not good in academics and sports. Man, what have I ever done in my life that even worth a praise? Of course, I've to stop thinking negatively and start taking actions, no more thinking but actions. I need to change and I want to change. I always have conflicts within me for not trying which turns into pressure and depression. Unnecessary 'sickness' I've inflicted myself with. I won't say more about what I want to do now or future. I'll let you see and witness the transformation of me, a metamorphosis of a determined person. I'm now a man on a mission, "To be the best in everything I touch". Will it be just a dream? Just a phrase? A desperate man's last move?
I want to be more than 'just a nice guy'. I need attention, love and compliments but I guess they won't come to me, not the person I am today...

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